Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Spinning Plates

There has been an interesting pattern I've noticed occuring lately and I have to admit it makes me anxious just thinking about it... All the women I know are working so hard to keep so many plates spining at one time (metaphorically) and we are all so afraid of dropping even just one. The weight (sanity) of the household is resting squarely on our shoulders and it is a daunting feeling. It doesn't matter if you work full time, part time or are a stay at home mom - juggling everything is very stressful. Let's not even delve in to the added pressures of a teetering economy and falling home values. There is more pressure than ever to be a two income household but many of us find it tough to find the middle ground. Yet, somehow it is up to us to keep everything together but we're finding it increasingly difficult!

I wish I could be SuperMom but I am coming to the realization that the harder I work to be SuperMom - the more elusive my goal becomes. I just can't be everything to everyone no matter how much I wish I could.

Yesterday I was lucky enough to sneak in a cup of coffee with two amazing and talented mothers. Both are like me - working to find that balance between wife, mother, career and self. What became clear was that we are all feeling the same pressures right now and are looking for ways to balance better.

I shared an interesting discussion my husband and I had recently. One evening it dawned on me... I was working really hard to see that certain things were done because I thought that was what my husband wanted but honestly I had never asked! So, I finally did! I am so glad I did! We've now shared our "top 3" list of important things with eachother and it has helped our stress level tremendously!

Our "top 3" were things like allowing eachother to have uninterupted "decompress" time after stressful days, helping get dinner dishes loaded and my favorite (that was a total shocker to me) - my husband doesn't want us to wait for him to eat dinner if he's caught in traffic! He'd much rather the boys start eating at the normal time ... I had no idea!

Anyway, maybe after more than 10 years of marriage I've learned a few things but I'm still working on that balancing act we call Motherhood!

What tips have you learned to help your balancing act? I think we could all use any extra tips!


JLC October 14, 2009 at 10:25 AM  

You hit the biggest one. Understanding that being a 'super mom' doesn't necessarily mean fitting into that prescribed mold. Because what may be 'super' to one family isn't 'super' to another. Simply love your family unconditionally and everything else is just added fluff.

A habit I do see that needs to change with households are the extra busy schedules. Kids are signed up for sports, dance, French etc.. but parents are actually doing their children a disservice. I've studied brain development in early childhood. Children NEED downtime. Time to build imaginations and creative thinking. In this world when non-creative positions are either being done by computers or outsourced for a cheaper wage, jobs for designers and innovative thinking are on the rise. We need to give our children the opportunity to develop those skills by allowing them a few hours each day to just... play.

Katie October 14, 2009 at 11:06 AM  

Yes. I agree. I'm feeling less guilty for keeping the weekends as family time. I treasure our family video game nights or movie nights! That down time is a rare commodity these days!

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